Things I learned about…the Olympics

I’m pretty bored on this Saturday afternoon. After catching up on some podcasts, doing some laundry, and watching the most terrible Batman movies (thanks 90’s) on television I figured I should try to do something productive: blogging. Here is a short list of things I learned from the past two weeks of Olympic coverage.

  • I’ll watch anything related to the Olympics even a parade of nations that takes over two hours to complete.
  • I can’t actually identify the geographical location of all nations in the parade. 
  • When watching a sport I haven’t cared about (ever) I’m an expert after 5 minutes of coverage
  • Commentators obviously do not hear the words that are coming out of their mouths
  • Anything viewers think was spectacular in a sport was actually terrible by standards of that sport
  • A lot of money is spent on teaching horses “ballet.”
  • Simple backyard sports can be big time sports with money and prizes, like trampoline.
  • Gold medals are actually silver but plated with gold.
  • Bronze medal winners are typically happier than silver medalists. This is an actual fact. They are happy to be recognized at all.
  • Medals break easily in the shower. Why an athlete is showering with their medal I’ll never know but that happened.
  • Speedos in diving are extremely tiny. 
  • Ping pong is even more boring to watch on television than it is to watch in a rec room. 
  • For two weeks every four years, athletes from around the world show better sportsmanship than we all show to each other any other time of the year. 
  • All arenas used in the Olympics have to be refigured after the games so they can be useful to the city for other purposes.
  • I am a complete failure

So congrats to London, medal winners, non-medal winners, and women who love Tom Daly for the great XXX Olympiad. Now make my Tumblr dashboard back to normal!

JEAH

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